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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25650994">i think there's something you should know</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tmylm/pseuds/tmylm'>tmylm</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>it's the one good thing that i've got [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Pitch Perfect (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Bechloe Week, Bechloe Week 2020, F/F, Pining, bechloe - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 01:56:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,451</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25650994</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tmylm/pseuds/tmylm</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Beca has wanted Chloe for five years now. In fact, she even sort of had her for a little bit. So why can’t she just tell her?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>it's the one good thing that i've got [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1859668</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>89</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i think there's something you should know</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Prompt fill for bechloe-week 2020 day 7: “Panic or Jealousy.”</p><p>
Part one of two.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It started freshman year. And, somehow, it started so seamlessly, too.</p><p>Beca had never even wanted to attend college, much less Barden University, the one place her father could keep a constant, watchful eye on her. The love/hate relationship she had grown to tolerate between she and Warren, the person Beca had grown up considering her favorite person, the person that would never, ever hurt Beca or her mother, had taken some time to establish following Beca finally coming to terms with her father’s affair. By essentially forcing her to attend Barden, he was only pushing that growing strain further, and Beca had vowed to herself she would not enjoy her higher education, if for no other reason than to spite her father.</p><p>But then <em>she’d</em> shown up, the girl with the fiery auburn curls and striking blue eyes, no hint of a filter in sight, and it had begun to prove much more difficult for Beca to altogether <em>hate</em> her time at Barden University.</p><p>It wasn’t supposed to be anything, nothing more than tangled sheets and sweaty bodies exploring one another’s so intricately that Beca could swear she knew Chloe so much better than she even knew herself. She came to know every mark, every small freckle dotted across the smooth surface of Chloe’s pale skin.</p><p>And Beca really hasn’t always been so wary of the prospect of feelings, of something more than screaming one another’s names in the throes of orgasmic bliss. No, her newfound fear of dropping those walls and opening herself up to something with the possibility to become something beautiful is all thanks to her father, to the man who showed Beca that even our greatest heroes can hurt us, that they can tear something so seemingly beautiful so effortlessly quickly apart.</p><p>So, when Beca had laid—almost a little <em>too</em> comfortably—in Chloe’s double bed one evening, curious eyes drinking in the familiar curves of Chloe’s slender shoulder as she’d laid sleeping beside her, studied the movement of her body as she’d breathed gently into her peaceful slumber, and she’d realized that maybe, just maybe, this could be something more than the only thing she’d previously acknowledged, it had been sheer instinct for Beca to run.</p><p>The transition of slipping back into a comfortable friendship, one that came along with nothing more, had been a little less seamless.</p><p>There was something so strange about wanting someone you’d previously had (at least in some capacity), and knowing that you couldn’t have them anymore. Even more strange, Beca had noted, because <em>she </em>had been the only one standing in their way—Chloe had made it clear from the beginning, Beca could have her if she wanted to; Beca could always have her if she wanted her. And, God, she wanted her… But, eventually, under the guise of fearing the other girls finding out about them and things falling apart that way, things had simmered back into an old familiarity, an old friendship that Beca had never properly experienced before with Chloe Beale, but that she would force herself to accept as their new reality.</p><p>It was just…it was just easier that way, that was all.</p><p>Flash forward to the following year, to Beca finally giving in to the persistence of Jesse Swanson’s obnoxious yet somehow endearing charm, and Beca had finally begun to question her decision.</p><p>Perhaps it was kind of sick really, the elation Beca would feel beneath the jealousy to glisten all over Chloe’s unabashed stare whenever she and Jesse were together around the others. Wordlessly, Chloe’s envy would ask her in the loudest voice, <em>why him? Why can you let down your walls for him, but not for me?</em> But Beca had finally figured herself out, she’d realized that her feelings for Jesse weren’t really <em>feelings</em> at all, they were motions; agreeing to be his girlfriend was a motion, an easy step to take, because she’d never really let him in. She never <em>would</em> really let him in. So, Jesse couldn’t hurt her, not in the way Chloe could. It had been easy, sensible.</p><p>And Chloe’s obvious jealousy, something she’d never openly voiced but that Beca could read so clearly, had almost acted as sadistic validation. It had been proof that Chloe wanted her too, that Beca’s almost-feelings had not been completely one-sided.</p><p>Of course, deeply rooted trust issues ensured that Beca would never be able to act on it, but still, it had been nice to know they had, at least at some point in time, been on the same page.</p><p>It wasn’t just Beca that had gotten to experience the joys of being wanted, the admittedly validating feeling of being actively, openly pursued. Throughout their time at Barden University, Chloe had her fair share of suitors, too. Granted, none of them ever really worked out long-term, but Beca can still recall the feeling of jealousy to rush through her entire body so vividly whenever she would hear Chloe fumble up the stairs of the Bellas house with another body pulled tightly against her own, two sets of lips fighting breathlessly against one another’s in a way that Beca remembers was, once upon a time, reserved just for her.</p><p>Beca isn’t sure she’ll ever forget that feeling, in fact.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Five years. Five years it has been since Beca met Chloe Beale, five years since she felt the still all too easy to recall feeling of Chloe’s trembling body writhing beneath the work of Beca’s tongue between her legs.</p><p>And despite those five years, the last one and a half of which have been spent sharing the same bed in their small shoebox apartment, having passed them by with so much change and uncertainty, one thing has remained a constant for Beca:</p><p>She has never stopped wanting to let Chloe in, never stopped wanting to lower those tough exterior walls and allow their former fling to grow into something real, something beautiful.</p><p>Five years later, and somehow, Beca still can’t do it. She still can’t let her in.</p><p>The sheer patheticness of her desperation to keep her heart so harshly protected is really not lost on Beca. Neither is the intensity of her feelings after less than a year of simply sleeping with Chloe Beale during freshman year. And Beca does not overlook the selfishness of the fact that it takes seeing Chloe connecting with another person on a level that Beca has not witnessed between Chloe and somebody else before for her to finally make a small attempt at opening up, but Beca has learned as of late that she is a selfish person, and in the end, she really just cannot help herself.</p><p>Because it is the closest to the elevator in the event that they run out of snacks, Beca’s room has been appointed the one where the former Bellas (and Emily...technically still a Bella) will congregate for the evening.</p><p>(God knows none of the other acts joining them on their last minute USO tour can even stand to be around them; there is really no point in them trying to spend time with anybody but each other.)</p><p>Because she is Chloe, and she cannot pass up on the chance to selflessly offer her assistance (especially where the Bellas are involved), Beca finds herself alone with Chloe for the first time since this whole trip begun, lazily organizing snacks and drinks in anticipation of the other girls showing up for their mini hotel room party.</p><p>Beca tries to hold her tongue, she really does, but it slips out in what Beca can only hope is a conversational tone regardless. “The guide dude is cute,” she shrugs, back to Chloe as she tears open a package of gummy bears, pretending he is truly not a big deal. “Phoenix or whatever.”</p><p>Chloe pauses briefly, before Beca registers the quiet sound of her melodic giggle behind her. “Chicago,” she corrects. Beca takes note of the way Chloe hums almost dreamily to herself. “He is, huh?”</p><p>“Sure,” Beca nods. “I mean, if you’re into that, anyway.”</p><p>Again, Chloe quietly hums, so Beca proceeds as nonchalantly as possible. “Lots of lingering eye contact between you two.”</p><p>At that, Chloe giggles in a way that first makes Beca’s heart soar, though as she turns to glance toward Chloe, who plops casually down onto the mattress, she cannot help the way it drops instead.</p><p>“Mm,” Chloe grins a pearly smile that Beca wishes she could look away from, but that seems to draw her in in a way that has her fixated far too deeply. “Do you think that means anything? I mean...do you think he likes me?”</p><p>Chloe does not sound like a woman in her mid-twenties as she talks excitedly about Chicago; instead, she sounds like a lovesick school girl experiencing her first ever crush, and it takes everything within Beca for her not to openly wince.</p><p>“Why wouldn’t he?” Beca shrugs, again in the most nonchalant way she can manage. By now, she has turned to fully face Chloe, arms crossing almost protectively across her middle as she looks down at her seated comfortably on Beca’s hotel room mattress. “Do you like him?”</p><p>Chloe’s dreamy grin remains in place, it never falters. Though, she shrugs a shoulder in response. “I don’t know. I mean, I don’t really know him or anything. But he is <em>really</em> cute...and if you think he likes me…”</p><p>Almost as if an internal panic button has been pushed, Beca cannot help her fast response. “Someone liking you isn’t a reason to like them back.”</p><p>“No, I know,” Chloe agrees coolly, “but I mean, it’s nice to know that you actually have a shot with someone, you know?”</p><p>It is strange, and perhaps all in her head, the way Beca feels like she notices a glint of...<em>something</em> in Chloe’s eyes. It feels almost accusatory, the way Chloe glances up at her with such a strong, fixated stare.</p><p>“It kind of sucks,” Chloe continues in a voice that seems to quieten the more she speaks, though her gaze, shimmering with something that Beca reads as almost pleading, remains firmly locked with Beca’s, “wanting someone who doesn’t want you back.”</p><p><em>I do</em>, Beca internally screams, desperate gaze glued to Chloe’s face, <em>I want you back. If you’re talking about me, I want you back</em>.</p><p>Outwardly, she doesn’t have a response.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>They have never given her a reason to think otherwise, to think that they <em>wouldn’t</em> be supportive, but when Beca finds out that she has been chosen to be DJ Khaled’s opening act, and the inexplicable fear of the other girls turning on her is washed aside by an unexpected shower of support, Beca wonders if she is perhaps living in a fantasy world.</p><p>Then again, if this <em>was</em> a fantasy, she would not have spent the last week watching as Chloe and Chicago made sickening, googly eyes at one another whenever they happened to be within the same vicinity, or witnessed Chloe’s uncharacteristically awkward flirting with someone that is not Beca.</p><p>And this isn’t Chloe, Beca knows this is not Chloe. Chloe isn’t shy or awkward, she doesn’t stumble over her words or fall over her own feet around somebody she likes… But then again, what if it is? What if this <em>is</em> the real Chloe? The thought ultimately terrifies Beca, the idea that Chicago is the person to finally pull Chloe into her real, true self.</p><p>So, this is not a fantasy. This is torture, a kind that Beca has not had the fortune to escape this entire time. Not until now, anyway. It is easy to shake those thoughts, to push down those feelings to make way for the nerves that have begun to swirl viciously throughout her body as she stands—no, <em>paces</em>—backstage, ready to make her debut performance.</p><p>Beca doesn’t even notice the sound of approaching footsteps, nor the rustling of the curtain moving beside her, until the sight of Chloe stepping into her peripheral vision causes her to physically jump.</p><p>“Sorry!” Chloe says quickly, shooting an apologetic smile Beca’s way. Her voice lowers slightly, secretively. “I know I’m not supposed to be back here, but I had to come wish you luck before you go on.” Her expression changes seamlessly to something much more encouraging as Chloe reaches out to grasp Beca’s hands in the most familiar way. It is so familiar, in fact, so calming, that Beca feels herself instantly beginning to relax, like she isn’t about to perform—entirely alone—for a full stadium of people. The soft feeling of Chloe’s thumbs brushing along the back of her knuckles only soothes Beca further as Chloe goes on. “You’re going to be so amazing out there, Beca. Really, we’re all so proud of you.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Beca questions in a somewhat timid voice that conveys her own uncertainty. The expression on her face portrays a mixture of both intense worry and quiet excitement as she effortlessly loops her fingers through Chloe’s protective hold.</p><p>“Mhm,” Chloe nods quickly. “Secret, though…” She pauses, leaning in close enough for Beca to easily inhale the sweet scent of her perfume as it lingers so familiarly on her skin. “<em>I’m</em> the most proud.”</p><p>Beca struggles to stifle a small, uncharacteristic giggle at that. Chloe’s presence is so effortlessly soothing, so instantly relaxing, that Beca can forget for a moment that, deep down, she is actually entirely terrified. And Beca realizes that maybe that is a sign; the sign of a good person, the <em>right</em> person.</p><p>She doesn’t register the way Chloe’s gaze, shining beneath the dim lighting surrounding them, has locked the way it has with her own, not at first. It is not until Chloe speaks again that Beca even becomes aware of her surroundings.</p><p>“Okay, I have to go find my seat,” she says with a reassuring squeeze of Beca’s hands, before eventually letting go. The loss of contact leaves a familiar emptiness in Beca’s stomach. “But come find me after, okay?” Chloe’s excited squeal is all kinds of adorable as she heads for the curtain blocking off Beca’s makeshift dressing room. “Go get ‘em, Bec!”</p><p>Whether it is the encouragement Beca hadn’t even realized she’d needed, or the way that watching Chloe walk away from her leaves Beca with an even deeper feeling of loss… Or maybe it is the realization that Chloe is that person, that <em>right</em> person, Beca doesn’t know. She does know, however, that in spite of five years of uncertainty, of holding herself back, it takes her all of two seconds to decide that, once this performance is over, and Beca gets Chloe alone again, she is not going to let the chance for sheer honesty pass her by. Not again.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>A part of Beca wonders how she makes it through the entire performance as easily as she does. It would not be out of character for her to somehow fall off the stage, or to forget the words, or to just generally mess up in some way or another.</p><p>The other part of her, though, the somehow more rational part, registers that it makes sense, the fact that she makes it through. It is because, when Beca looks out into the audience, despite Khaled’s advice to imagine the fact that they are not even there, it is Chloe who pulls Beca’s focus. Chloe is the person Beca is singing to, Chloe is the reason Beca makes it through.</p><p>It is elation and excitement, mixed with the residual rush of adrenaline, that makes up the recipe to keep Beca’s heart pounding in the way it does once she is done, that keeps her firm in the idea that this is it, that she is <em>finally</em> going to talk to Chloe. If Beca can do that, if she can perform for a packed out arena, she can do something she has been quietly begging herself to do for years now.</p><p>Beca doesn’t have the chance to go find Chloe as promised. Instead, Chloe comes to her, and Beca cannot help the way she mirrors Chloe’s excited, dazzling grin as she barges through the curtain and wraps her arms so tightly around Beca that Beca thinks she might somehow explode. She is not complaining, of course—it is all very Chloe Beale.</p><p>“Oh, my God, Beca, you were <em>incredible</em>!” Chloe squeals, eyes shining with leftover tears as she holds on tightly, protectively, to Beca’s small frame.</p><p>In return, Beca wraps her arms just as tightly around Chloe’s middle, face nuzzling unintentionally into Chloe’s messy curls. “Really? You’re not just saying that?”</p><p>“No!” Chloe promises, pulling back only far enough to direct her watery gaze to Beca’s face. “No, definitely not just saying it. You were amazing. You were incredible. You…” Chloe pauses at that, shiny blue eyes locked with Beca’s as her tongue flickers out to lick over her lips. Beca notes the way her volume drops as she continues. “You <em>are</em> incredible, Beca.”</p><p>For the most part, Beca had managed to keep it together throughout the performance. It is not until she sees the look in Chloe’s eyes, takes in this blissful feeling she only ever experiences when it is just the two of them, that Beca’s eyes begin to glaze over with salty tears of their own.</p><p>Her heart is hammering for an entirely different reason now, one that Beca normally makes a point of actively ignoring. She can see the way Chloe’s body shakes, see her feelings reflected right back at her in a way that makes Beca want, so badly, to spill her entire heart out right there and then.</p><p>Although her mouth opens to do just that, the words seem to die in her throat.</p><p>But maybe they don’t need them, Beca realizes as she watches the dreamy look overtake Chloe’s glistening gaze. Maybe they don’t need words, because Beca knows she is not imagining it when she sees the way Chloe’s eyes drop toward her mouth in a way that Beca hasn’t experienced in a while, but that she welcomes like an old friend. She is not imagining it as she takes in the sight of Chloe leaning closer, of her parted lips aiming directly for her own.</p><p>Beca cannot explain why she turns her face, why the incoming kiss ends up planted, instead, to her cheek.</p><p>But it does.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The almost-kiss makes for an awkward exit. It sees Beca staring almost pleadingly at Chloe in a way that wordlessly tells her, <em>I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Do it again. Please, do it again and I won’t turn away. I never want to turn away from you</em>, but that is ultimately met with what is both a sad yet understanding look from Chloe in return.</p><p>Of course, because Chloe always understands. She always understands, even when Beca doesn’t deserve it.</p><p>Chloe departs, almost nervously telling Beca that she has to go and find Aubrey, and all Beca can do is slowly nod her head as she watches her go. She is left to mentally kick herself, to curse under her breath once she is sure she is alone.</p><p>Of the two major events this evening, Beca thinks, she would’ve much preferred to have messed up the first one.</p><p>Unlike the performance, however, Beca knows that she has another chance with Chloe. Somehow, she has always seemingly had unlimited chances with Chloe. Beca knows that, realistically, they will ultimately run out, though. It is that thought, as well as a quick self pep talk that has Beca praying her dressing room is not secretly bugged with listening cameras, that finally pushes Beca from behind the curtain. She is finally going to talk to Chloe. She has to, this conversation is way passed due.</p><p>Beca doesn’t know exactly where to look, of course, and seems to run into every other member of the Bellas, each desperate to express their pride that Beca would normally be delighted to hear, before finally stumbling around the correct corner.</p><p>Or maybe it is the incorrect one, Beca thinks as her gaze, wide and expectant, lands on the sight of Chloe reaching out a balled fist to grasp tightly at the chest of Chicago’s shirt, his lips meeting hers in such a smooth and effortless exchange that Beca’s heart physically begins to ache.</p><p>She watches as Chicago proceeds to dip Chloe in the most sickeningly romantic way, quite literally sweeping her off her feet in a way that Beca could never even dream of.</p><p>Beca’s world falls apart right there and then beneath the stark and painful realization that those chances were not unlimited, after all.</p><p>Clearly, they never had been.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi! <a href="http://chloebeale.tumblr.com">This is me</a>. Also, this work was written super last minute and is entirely unbeta'd. Please forgive any mistakes!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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